You would think that the older I get, it would finally sink in that we can never go back and undo our choices. We cannot undo words we say or the actions we take. Yet, here I am 30 years old and re-learning a lesson I have experienced more times than I care to admit.

We only get one shot at life, and I have wasted so much of my life. Time I cannot get back. I sit here thankful that my God can make me new. Thankful that He can work all things together for my good. Grateful that, despite my failures, He can and wants to use me for His Kingdom. However, despite the thankfulness, I am disappointed. Disappointed that I have allowed my emotions to rule my life.

So many times we mistake emotions as truth. But, the truth is our emotions change from day to day and sometimes even moment to moment. We cannot let our emotions become the compass for our lives.

Although, right now I am struggling to undo some choices I have made – and the battle is a daily one, step-by-step I will be victorious. Not because of who I am, but because of who Christ is in me. I have to daily remind myself to slow down. I have to think about if the choice is worth the potential consequences of my actions. But I cannot stop at thinking, I must pray and seek truth before I take a step, so that I can be sure I am taking a step in truth and letting emotions direct my path.

Proverbs 13: 16-21

Wise people think before they act; fools don’t and even brag about it!  An unreliable messenger stumbles into trouble, but a reliable messenger brings healing.  If you ignore criticism, you will end in poverty and disgrace; if you accept criticism, you will be honored.  It is pleasant to see dreams come true, but fools will not turn from evil to attain them.  Whoever walks with the wise will become wise; whoever walks with fools will suffer harm.  Trouble chases sinners, while blessings chase the righteous!

My to-do list:

– Think Before I Act

– Be Reliable

– Accept Criticism

– Turn from Evil

– Surround Myself with Wisdom

Rush Of Fools – Undo Lyrics

I’ve been here before, now here I am again
Standing at the door, praying You’ll let me back in
To label me a prodigal would be
Only scratching the surface of who I’ve been known to be

Turn me around pick me up
Undo what I’ve become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, need Your help
I can’t do this myself
You’re the only one who can undo
What I’ve become

I focused on the score, but I could never win
Trying to ignore, a life of hiding my sin
To label me a hypocrite would be
Only scratching the surface of who I’ve been known to be

Make every step lead me back to
The sovereign way that You



Buried in the Sand


Sometimes the first thought that comes to our minds when we think of something being buried in the sand is a beautiful sunny day, on a beach, with our toes burrowed in warm golden sand.

But, being “buried in the sand” is not always a glorious thing. This picture looks silly and downright ridiculous, and when we burry our heads in the sand to avoid the tough things, regardless of the reasons,  it’s a downright ridiculous thing to do.

Out of sight. Out of mind.

Just because you are not facing it, doesn’t mean it’s not there.


Just because your avoiding something,  it doesn’t mean it’s going away.

I’ve been neglecting things in my life out of fear,  out of shame,  out of uncertainty,  out of “busyness”, out of regret.  But the neglect made nothing go away;  it made nothing better.

It. Just. Makes. Things. Worse.

I’ve always believed I was a faith filled person,  but I realize if I’d of had faith,  I wouldn’t have felt the need to bury my head in the sand.

Matthew 8:26  keeps ringing in my ears,

“You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.

When we stand up in faith,  God rebukes the storms in our lives.

It doesn’t matter how bad we feel. How sincere we are. How much thought we give it. If we DO NOTHING then NOTHING HAPPENS.

God does and will act on our behalf, but we have to DO what He tells us to do.

We can’t do anything or hear anything, with our heads buried in the sand.

Maybe you are like me and it’s time for you to rise up in faith and face the mess you’ve made. What you’re facing might look hopeless. Looking up might be scary. The road ahead could possibly hard and humbling, but we are are called to walk by faith and not by sight.

Maybe you’re like me and your faith seems to be in short supply.  Cling to these scriptures and know you’re not alone. You’re not the only person whose made a mess of your life and God is with us, and he will be. Every. Step. Of. The. Way.

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Snow Day!

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: the old has gone, the new is here!  2 Corinthians 5:17

No matter how old I get, I still LOVE snow.

There is just something about those tiny, glistening, white snowflakes that get me excited the same way it did when I was a child.

One of my co-workers who just moved here from Florida and who has not seen snow since she was a little girl sent me a text message that read: Everything is all white and pretty. It’s like all nice and brand-new.

Maybe part of the excitement of snow is that it makes everything look brand-new. I love looking out over a field after it has just snowed and is covered with a fresh blanket of flawless beauty.  It makes me think of – New Beginnings. Purity. Possibilities.

As I was reminiscing this morning about my childhood snow-days and how excited I got (and still do) this thought occurred to me: What would happen if people got just as excited about Jesus as they do about snow?

What if people prepared for Jesus coming, the same way they prepare for the threat of possible snow?

Snow can teach us a lot about Jesus. The blood of Jesus makes us new again. It makes us flawless and pure. The blood of Jesus erases our mistakes and brings new beginnings. With Jesus anything is possible. The realization of who Jesus is and what He can do is something to get truly get excited about. Unlike snow that melts away, Jesus is always there to cleanse us, forgive us, and make us new. His love never changes.

I am reminded of a song this morning that says:

I hear the Savior say, Thy strength indeed is small;

Child of weakness, watch and pray, Find in Me thine all in all.

‘Cause Jesus paid it all, All to Him I owe;

Sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow.

Lord, now indeed I find Thy power and Thine alone,

Can change the leper’s spots and melt the heart of stone.

Thank-you Jesus for dying on the cross for me so that I could become spotless. Thank you for forgiving me so that I can experience what it feels like to be free from my past and have a spotless, clean slate as I move forward. Thank you for bearing the weight of my sin so that I can experience peace. Thank you for the snow that reminds me of how great your love is. I praise you, Jesus, for paying my debt and making me as white as snow.

Comfort vs. Trust

God doesn’t call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn’t come through.– Crazy Love, Francis Chan

God is calling me to take off my comfortable clothes and to fully put my faith and trust in Him. While what He is requiring of me is scary and unfamiliar, I remind myself that God is a rewarder to those who diligently seek Him. As I walk through this uncharted territory, I rest in the fact that He has gone before me and prepared the way.

For a long time I have dreamed about the day when God’s promises for my life would come to fruition. Now I realize it will take more than dreaming and even hoping. God is asking me to take some steps, that I am sure to many people will seem radical and irresponsible. Although I am uncertain of the details, I am confident that as I trust in Him He will direct my path.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path. – Proverbs 3:5-6

Clean Slate

I love a clean slate and starting fresh.  Whether it is starting a brand-new calendar at the beginning of a year or decorating a bare room. The possibilities are endless and I can let my imagination and creativity fly. Contemporary? Traditional? Shabby Chic? Country? Eclectic?  I can design it into anything I want it to become. Too often we hang on to things from our past. We let the clutter of what is behind us define and affect who we are today. But did you know that you can have a clean slate? That you can become “brand-new”? You can start the New Year free from bondage and guilt.  

We just celebrated Christmas and the birth of Jesus Christ. God sent his only son, Jesus, to this earth to be our Savior and to die on the cross for us so that we could have a clean slate. He died to wash away our sins; He bore the punishment of our mistakes for us. We don’t have to let our past cripple us. We don’t have to live in guilt and shame.  

One of the worst lies that I have ever believed is that I don’t deserve to be forgiven; I am not worthy of a clean slate. Then one day I realized that by carrying my burdens alone and not letting go, allowing God to forgive me (or forgiving myself) I was basically saying, “Jesus, what you did for me by dying on the cross was not big enough to cover my sin. The crown of thorns you wore was too small. The beatings were not brutal enough. The sacrifice you made was nothing compared to what I have done.” The reality of what I was implying broke my heart. There was no way that I was going to minimize the greatest act of love ever committed. On that day I laid down my burdens, I forgave myself, and the freedom that followed brought an unexplainable joy.

As time goes by and I inevitably make more mistakes, I often have to stop and remind myself of the realization that I had. Since 2011 is coming to a close and we are getting ready to embark on a New Year I don’t want to bring any baggage along on this new adventure. I want to forget what is behind me and move forward with expectation of what is to come.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14

This year I challenge you to view your mistakes as stepping-stones rather than stumbling blocks. Let all of your choices, good and bad, be learning experiences that push you forward rather than hold you back. For we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him and have been called according to His purpose.

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

‘Cause this is not about what you’ve done,
But what’s been done for you.
This is not about where you’ve been,
But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.

You’ve been remade

Let’s start 2012 off together with a clean slate!

The Possibilities are ENDLESS!!


Control Freak

Day: Friday, September 23rd
Time: 2:06 pm
Place: In Beautiful Green Country    
Mood: Let’s do this!
Phase 2 of my journey has officially commenced…


Anything that does not come from faith is sin…
~Romans 14:23~

When we have to be in control of a situation that is NOT faith.

In simple terms faith is COMPLETE Trust. Anything that is not complete trust is not faith; therefore, it is sin.

You can’t kind of have faith. Sometimes when God calls us to do something, we often want to keep one foot on solid ground or ““our turf””. We will follow Him until we are stretched to the point that we have to move our foot. Moving our foot means that we give away complete control; we lose our imagined safety net. Giving away complete control to God is Faith. Anything short of that {according to Romans 14:23} is sin.

I said that I believe with all of my heart and have faith that God is calling me to the second phase of this journey. I have told God over and over that wherever He leads me I will follow. So, I packed my stuff up and I followed where He led me.  But today I realized I have been keeping my foot on my turf. This might sound silly, but I could not bring myself to totally get everything out of my car. I would not allow myself make it permanent. I realized that I had to have control of the situation and however wimpy it may be, by not unpacking my car I was basically saying “I am still in control.”

If I know this is where God led me, I have to show Him that I am willing to give up COMPETE control. I have to show Him COMPLETE trust. So, I unpacked my car completely and settled myself into my new abode.

I do not know how long I will be here, but I moved my foot today. I am fully putting my faith in God. It is scary but it feels amazing at the same time. I know He is the author of my life, not me. I know He is going to lead me, but I have to let Him.

So here is to Phase 2 of this journey and here is to me giving up my need to be a control freak. Cheers!

’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” Jeremiah 29:11


• James 1:3
because you know that the testing of your faith develops

• Matthew 14:31
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

• Matthew 15:28
Then Jesus answered, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.”

• Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

• Romans 10:17
Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.

• 1 Corinthians 2:5
So that your faith might not rest on men’s wisdom, but on God’s power.

Deep Clean

Day: Sunday, September 18th
Time: 11:00 pm
Place: Mom’s house
Mood: fantastic



Psalm 51:10
Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. (KJV)

This afternoon I decided to deep clean my car. It REALLY needed it. As I was vigorously scrubbing the umpteenth spot, I thought to myself – how often have I taken the time to deep clean my life?

You could say that the first part of this journey God called me on has been the deep cleaning phase.

The cloud that hung over my life has been washed away, but I had to take a good hard look inside myself. I had to admit my weaknesses and mistakes. I had to forgive. I had to change my thoughts. I had to forget. I had to learn. I had to let go of fear and guilt. I had to stand up for myself. I had to say “”No”” to the world and people I love (which was soooooo hard) so I could say ““Yes”” to God.

I believe spiritual cleaning is biblical. Therefore … let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily hinders our progress… (Hebrews 12:1)

When I deep clean, sometimes the mess gets worse before it starts to look better. I can tell you that my life certainly felt messier when I started “deep cleaning”. It made me wonder if I had done the right thing. But just like when you are cleaning, I slowly started to notice a difference, and before I knew I was glowing with a whole new outlook.

If we don’t do a spiritual clean sweep consistently, sooner rather than later we will be in need of a spiritual deep clean.

No matter how big your mess don’t get scared away!  A little elbow grease can transform your life…

Hebrews 10:22
Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.