You would think that the older I get, it would finally sink in that we can never go back and undo our choices. We cannot undo words we say or the actions we take. Yet, here I am 30 years old and re-learning a lesson I have experienced more times than I care to admit.

We only get one shot at life, and I have wasted so much of my life. Time I cannot get back. I sit here thankful that my God can make me new. Thankful that He can work all things together for my good. Grateful that, despite my failures, He can and wants to use me for His Kingdom. However, despite the thankfulness, I am disappointed. Disappointed that I have allowed my emotions to rule my life.

So many times we mistake emotions as truth. But, the truth is our emotions change from day to day and sometimes even moment to moment. We cannot let our emotions become the compass for our lives.

Although, right now I am struggling to undo some choices I have made – and the battle is a daily one, step-by-step I will be victorious. Not because of who I am, but because of who Christ is in me. I have to daily remind myself to slow down. I have to think about if the choice is worth the potential consequences of my actions. But I cannot stop at thinking, I must pray and seek truth before I take a step, so that I can be sure I am taking a step in truth and letting emotions direct my path.

Proverbs 13: 16-21

Wise people think before they act; fools don’t and even brag about it!  An unreliable messenger stumbles into trouble, but a reliable messenger brings healing.  If you ignore criticism, you will end in poverty and disgrace; if you accept criticism, you will be honored.  It is pleasant to see dreams come true, but fools will not turn from evil to attain them.  Whoever walks with the wise will become wise; whoever walks with fools will suffer harm.  Trouble chases sinners, while blessings chase the righteous!

My to-do list:

– Think Before I Act

– Be Reliable

– Accept Criticism

– Turn from Evil

– Surround Myself with Wisdom

Rush Of Fools – Undo Lyrics

I’ve been here before, now here I am again
Standing at the door, praying You’ll let me back in
To label me a prodigal would be
Only scratching the surface of who I’ve been known to be

Turn me around pick me up
Undo what I’ve become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, need Your help
I can’t do this myself
You’re the only one who can undo
What I’ve become

I focused on the score, but I could never win
Trying to ignore, a life of hiding my sin
To label me a hypocrite would be
Only scratching the surface of who I’ve been known to be

Make every step lead me back to
The sovereign way that You



True Friendship


I believe that friendship is a two way street. It takes two people actively engaged to make a relationship work.

I know that life changes, and some friendships are only meant for a season.

But, I also believe that when someone is truly your friend, they will chase after you if you begin to pull away. 

If you suddenly feel like a friendship is becoming one-sided – If you feel a friend pulling away.  Don’t take it personally. Perhaps that friend is going through a difficult season and needs you now, more than ever.

Don’t give up on the people you love. Remind them you’re there. Remind them they’re loved. Stretch out your hand of friendship and don’t pull it back if they don’t immediately respond.

When people go through a difficult time, in the beginning it’s not always easy to open up. In fact, it can be very hard and so it becomes easier to pull away.

Looking back I wonder if I have at times, taken things personally in my friendships, and missed the opportunity to be a true friend when I was need the most.

If you can’t be there for your friend with your words or with your help… you can be there for them in prayer.
Continue reading

Buried in the Sand


Sometimes the first thought that comes to our minds when we think of something being buried in the sand is a beautiful sunny day, on a beach, with our toes burrowed in warm golden sand.

But, being “buried in the sand” is not always a glorious thing. This picture looks silly and downright ridiculous, and when we burry our heads in the sand to avoid the tough things, regardless of the reasons,  it’s a downright ridiculous thing to do.

Out of sight. Out of mind.

Just because you are not facing it, doesn’t mean it’s not there.


Just because your avoiding something,  it doesn’t mean it’s going away.

I’ve been neglecting things in my life out of fear,  out of shame,  out of uncertainty,  out of “busyness”, out of regret.  But the neglect made nothing go away;  it made nothing better.

It. Just. Makes. Things. Worse.

I’ve always believed I was a faith filled person,  but I realize if I’d of had faith,  I wouldn’t have felt the need to bury my head in the sand.

Matthew 8:26  keeps ringing in my ears,

“You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.

When we stand up in faith,  God rebukes the storms in our lives.

It doesn’t matter how bad we feel. How sincere we are. How much thought we give it. If we DO NOTHING then NOTHING HAPPENS.

God does and will act on our behalf, but we have to DO what He tells us to do.

We can’t do anything or hear anything, with our heads buried in the sand.

Maybe you are like me and it’s time for you to rise up in faith and face the mess you’ve made. What you’re facing might look hopeless. Looking up might be scary. The road ahead could possibly hard and humbling, but we are are called to walk by faith and not by sight.

Maybe you’re like me and your faith seems to be in short supply.  Cling to these scriptures and know you’re not alone. You’re not the only person whose made a mess of your life and God is with us, and he will be. Every. Step. Of. The. Way.

Continue reading

“Where am I going?”

For the past several years, when summer rolls around, I have seemed to find myself in a position where I have big decisions to make. Decisions that will alter the course I am on by requiring me to step away from some opportunities to take a hold of others.

For the past few months, I have known that the decision train was fast approaching and I would have some big choices to make, but no matter how many lists I made, minutes hours I spent thinking about it, or the number of prayers I spoke, the decision was not becoming any easier.

Last night, I came to a startling and honestly painful realization – I have lost my vision for where I am headed in life. I began asking myself the questions:  “What am I doing with my life? What am I aiming for? Where am I going?…. Who am I?” Once upon a time, I could see clearly the path I was on. I knew exactly where I was headed, why I was headed there and I had a plan to execute it, but that vision has become blurred.

While trying to answer those questions, I began to see that because my focus has been on my current circumstances, desires and needs.  In the craziness of life, I lost sight of where I was headed.  I began to listen to well intentioned and loving voices, more than seeking out the voice of God. I took great opportunities without weighing whether or not they would help me reach my goals.

When I first started driving I would swerve and not drive in a straight line despite my best effort. I remember my dad telling me not to focus on the road right in front of me but to look down the road to where I was going. When I focused my attention on where I was headed I drove a straight line. I think the same is true in life; when we loose sight of where we are headed, it is easy to get off course without even realizing it and then end up in a place asking “Where am I?”

While I still have decisions to make, because I have the end in mind, I have confidence that the choices I need to make are going to become clear. Although I know some of the decisions I need to make won’t be easy, I know  it will be worth it, and I am willing to make sacrifices and do hard things, in order to fulfil the calling God has placed on my life.

If you are finding yourself with a difficult decision to make, check to see where your focus is. Is your focus on the problem or on God? Are you thinking more about what people expect from you or what God expects from you? Is your focus on your past mistakes believing that you cannot move forward because of them or is your focus on using those experiences motivate you to make better choices?

I have faith that as I shift my focus to God and the calling He has placed on my life, my vision will once again be clear and I will know and be willing to make the right decisions to get me to that place where God is calling me forward to.



Day: Saturday, September 3rd
Time: 10:00 am
Place: My Mom’s House
Mood: fresh and on a roll!


Best Friends Forever! I cannot tell you how many folders I have covered with the letters B.F.F. I have been blessed with many BFF’s in my life time, but today I learned that I have 4 other friends who are dying to be my best friends.

What is a BFF anyway?

Well, I would say a BFF is always there for you. Loves you no matter what. Laughs, cries, and sings with you :). A BFF knows what is best for you and looks out for you at all times. A BFF picks you up when you are down. Always has your back. Tells you what you need to hear, not just what you want to hear. Doesn’t tempt you to do things you shouldn’t even if it is the “IN” thing to do. The description of a BFF could go on forever!

Today, I sat down to read my bible. I just flipped it open and landed in Proverbs. Proverbs 1 to be exact =P Now if you have been keeping up with my blog you know that I said the one thing I desired from God was wisdom. The first part of Proverbs talk about exactly that… WISDOM!

While reading Proverbs  I am being flooded with wisdom and knowledge and I am still processing it all, but I want to share just one thing. In Proverbs chapter 2 it talks about the “BFF’s” we all have access to and need to invite to be a part of our lives. Without further ado let me introduce…

Lady Wisdom
Brother Knowledge
Good Sense
Madame Insight

Lady Wisdom will be your close friend
Brother Knowledge will be your pleasant companion
Good Sense will scout ahead of you for danger
Madame Insight will keep an eye out for you

Together they will keep you from making wrong turns and following bad directions.

I don’t know about you, but I think I am going to invite them to be a part of my daily life and to be my Best Friends Forever!  =)


Day: Saturday, September 3rd
Time: 8:00 pm
Place: My Mom’s House
Mood: in awe


I have never really gambled – and I for sure have never heard the loud ringing bells that sound when you win big at a casino. But, I feel like I just hit the jackpot! So I will sound the winning bells myself…


I thought I knew just what that meant and all that it encompassed. It just means you have a lot of smarts right!?!?!
=P just kiddin’. But, man wisdom is far more powerful and important than I ever knew.

I don’t know if it is the phase of life I am in or what but Proverbs has really been hitting the spiritual spot for me. I swear I have read from Proverbs before, but it is like the light bulb came on and I am beginning to really understand the importance of making seeking wisdom a priority.

Just a few tidbits I have learned about wisdom so far…

It starts with God. The first step in learning is bowing to God.
God gives out wisdom for free
With wisdom comes common sense, a personal body-guard, and the special attention of God
It’s worth far more than money in the bank
It blesses you when you hold it tight
It keeps you alive and well
It helps you sleep without worry
It helps you stay calm when you are surprised or ambushed
If you have wisdom you are rewarded with honor
It guards your life
It gives you grace and beauty
It gets you out of tight spots and sticky situations
It is a beacon for your life
It leads to sanity, knowledge and direction
It provides good counsel, common sense, insight and virtue
It leads to life – real life
It is better than anything you could wish for
It helps leaders to rule
Those who look for wisdom find it
Wisdom is accompanied by wealth and glory
Honor and a good name follow wisdom
It’s benefits are worth far more than a VERY BIG salary

Those are just a some of the things I have learned about wisdom and there are still 23 more chapters to go!

Needless to say the #1 spot on my priority list goes to bowing to God  – giving Him my first and best – to gain WISDOM!

Watch out world! I just hit the jackpot!!!
and this is just the beginning…